BROCATION: Khan and Curry Came back Without a Wavepool!

Do you read the Jax Daily Record? Of course you do! It features very good business journalism and, at the bargain-basement cost of 35¢, you would not be an astute capitalist if you did not pony up for a copy.

Did you know they have a building on Bay St. in Downtown Jacksonville? It’s true. Did you also know that their publisher/owner Jim Bailey is, or was, a board member of the Downtown Investment Authority? This is also true. And it all makes sense when you consider that the D Rec (as the kids call it) often gets the scoop on business news re: the city’s Urban Core.

In one such scoop, D Rec writer David Cawton gave readers the skinny on Mayor Lenny Curry, Jaguars owner Shad Khan, City Chief Administrative Officer Sam Mousa, and Jags Prez Mark Lamping’s recent brocation to visit three properties developed by big-time developer Cordish Companies in Kansas City, St. Louis, and Baltimore.

From the D Rec:

The Cordish Companies, identified as a developer interested in Jacksonville’s Shipyards project, has a more than 100-year history of work with a focus since the 2000s, on sports and entertainment districts.

Jacksonville Jaguars President Mark Lamping said Friday the Baltimore, Maryland-based company was one of the developers “interested in helping us out.”

Lamping, Jaguars owner Shad Khan, Mayor Lenny Curry and city Chief Administrative Officer Sam Mousa toured three Cordish projects two weeks ago during a cross-country trip on Khan’s private jet.

Stops were made in Kansas City, St. Louis and Baltimore, where Cordish developed sports-district projects.

Jacksonville wants to redevelop the riverfront Shipyards and Metro Park properties.

How very bro-y! Oh, to be a fly on the wall of the interior of that private jet airplane! Do you think Curry and Khan and the others watched ball sports and threw back some cold brew-dawgs? Do you imagine they each made small cuts on their index fingers and bonded as Duval Blood Brothers 4 Life? Do you think Mayor Curry threw on his fave Hova jams and rapped along, censoring his mouth whenever Jay-Z said the word that white people can’t say?

I have so many questions.

Like, why did they not fly to California and make an appointment with 11-time surfing world champion, Sunshine State native, and wave pool tycoon Kelly Slater?

Have you seen the following video, which, not long ago, broke the Internet?

Cocoa Beach’s Slater has created the perfect wave! In a pool. In Leemore, CA, of all places! What’s more, San Diego is trying to redevelop its downtown and Cocoa Beach’s Slater has proposed a wave pool to help them do just that! California gets all the cool shit, you might say. But, wait, Cocoa Beach’s Slater has also proposed building one here in Florida, albeit in Palm Beach.

So why, pray tell, if Curry and Khan and Lamping have access to a private jet, with Jay-Z blasting, and sports ball on the TV, and blood bonds forged, did they not fly to Leemore to meet with Surfing champion and Florida native, Slater? Could you imagine a better fit for our all-important Shipyards?

How do we make this happen, dear Squealers? Would you shred Slater’s Shipyards wave pool? Certainly Our Mayor would not, for he is a poseur.

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